When our friends were angry…when they were unreasonable…when they wanted you to do something you hated, when their demands were too much…what did we do? I was the one who said no. You were the one who tried to convince them otherwise. I always left the conversation. You always stayed.
Why did we do this? What did we have to gain? We both thought the same thing. We wanted to run. We wanted to not only escape the situation we were in but to rebel. Rebel against the way of the world. We wanted to scream out “WHY?” at the heavens for sticking us with this wacky, idiotic, and sometimes dangerous group of people. We wanted to beat up everyone else for having “normal” friends, for being attracted to normal girls and guys, for having a life that didn’t involve everything we went through. Most of all, we wanted our friends to know how we felt, the hurt, the frustration, their stupidity and our weakness.
But at the same time we didn’t want to succeed in escaping the lives we led. Like how the hero in the mask secretly yearns for the damsel to find out their secrets, we wanted life to repeatedly steer us back. Because we loved them. The demanding, idiotic, insensitive bastards and bitches we hung out with, the annoying, disgusting, and sometimes horrifying things we went through because of them. We loved it deep down. They made us scream in rage almost always, but they were what we were, sewn into our identities by the passing of time.
We wanted to run and express our rage, but we wanted to stay and remain the same as well. What did we choose? You chose to remain silent, to bite your lip and accept. I chose to run and probably never see them again. What did our choices do for us? Who chose correct?