My First Post on this blog was about the importance of having the will to write being above the importance of having a topic. To prevent myself from becoming a hypocrite I will now practice what I preach. I have literally no idea what I am going to write about.
Here’s an Idea, how about find a random word generator online and write an article based on that?
I found a website called Watch4Snakes. It seems…trustworthy and efficient enough.
The words I got after two rolls are “Telekinesis” and, I kid you not, “lovemaking”
Oh my god. Oh the possibilities. I swear I’m not making this up!
Okay, well, for starters, Telekinesis is the ability to directly affect things or people without touching them or physically involving yourself with them in any way. Lovemaking is sex, the epitome of physical contact between two living creatures, AKA sex.
Obviously, this is going to be PG-14
Here goes. *ahem*
Citizens of Blogsville. There is a problem in our society that has not been addressed by the professional media. It is a problem that we, the government, have promised to correct, but thus far have, admittedly, avoided speaking of. This great problem is Telekinetic Lovemaking!
Do you realize the horrors of lovemaking through telekinesis? The teasing and aggravating feeling of sex without being able to touch who you’re having sex with? Indeed, my friends, Telekinetic Lovemaking is as Evil as the Premature Ejaculation. It is an abomination to the word Love!
How shall we deal with this epidemic? The tempting but utterly one sided sexual positions that come from Telekinetic Lovemaking, including but not limited to “The invisible Pony”, “Position 11” and the “Stare at one’s genitalia until she orgasms”, have plagued the city!
Some have suggested including filling all condoms with lead, Finding all Espers and Psychics and forcing Chastity belts upon them, and even encouraging religions to include “Tele-cumming” as a sin! What is the correct answer? Will we ever be free from Telekinetic Lovemaking, and the horrors it entails? -end
Well that was fun. I don’t really know who’s getting the better deal in the Telekinetic Lovemaking either, I was just *ahem* f*cking around. I swear, I did not manipulate the word generator in any way, those were my actual first two rolls! I’m sorry if this post doesn’t suit you, it’s my first shot at improv.