Improvisation / reading / Uncategorized / writing

Super Power Questions #1

Ever since I was a child, say, six years of age I always wondered about some superpowers. I mean, some powers are made out by comics and movies to be totally awesome even though I can think of many ways that using them could go totally wrong. Some are treated as stupid even though I can think of some ways they could be pretty dangerously used. 

For an example of a power that might not be as useful as it sounds I present to you the power of stopping time for everything in the universe but you. Sounds amazing doesn’t it? Think of all the things you could do if you could stop time! You could stop bullets, pick pocket a thousand people, rob a bank, eat all the food in a buffet table, perform a life saving surgery with fewer risks, and more all in less than a micro second!

That is, if you could hold your breath long enough. You see, if you stop time wouldn’t that mean the air around you also stops? Assuming that you could push through the air around you and aren’t simply stuck, how would you breathe? When you breathe your diaphragm stretches your lungs and  creates a sort of vacuum that sucks in the air, so I guess you could inhale. Through that logic you could also exhale by pushing the resulting carbon dioxide and oxygen out of your lungs, so it would feel like you could breathe, but what about the part in between? Would the oxygen be absorbed by your capillaries? I understand that the oxygen has to be flowing for the osmosis to function properly (I haven’t taken Biology since eleventh grade, my apologies).

And speaking of stopping time, if you’re exempt from the Time Stop does that mean you still age when you pause time? If you use it for three hours does that mean you’ve aged three hours in less than a second? If you use this power constantly will you die of old age ten years before you should?

I think I’d leave time alone. But how about powers that aren’t really cool. How about the ability to, say, create a small amount of edible material in the palm of your hand? Let’s say, creating a hamburger’s worth of food right in your hand! And you can do this around ten times a day.

Well, we can see some mundane use for that. For one thing you’d never have to buy groceries again. Think of all the money you could save. Also, you could donate some food to shelters that’d accept them. Sounds cool.

Also you could assassinate people. Oh yeah, did I mention that? You can create food out of nowhere in the palm of your hand. You could jam up a guy’s throat just by putting your hand close to their neck. You could form a cucumber right into their brain if you wanted. The autopsy guy/girl would be confused, but they’d never think it was you. Just wear earphones when you walk up to the person you’re trying to kill. If the person’s as tall as you, put your hands as if adjusting your earphones, then when they walk by you, form an item of food into their head. If not, just pretend to be dancing while listening to music. When the guys fall dead, act concerned, but leave as soon as the ambulance comes. 

Sounds like I’m thinking this through rather strangely, but think about it. You’ve got the power to create mass! That is an amazing power. This is defying physics on a massive level. If you think about it, what else is edible? How about uncooked fugu? Ten hamburgers worth of fugu? You could extract a lot of poison from that. And that’s just with the limit we decided on. What if you could create more than just ten hamburgers worth of mass? How about an three crates full? How about if you could make more than just one hamburger’s worth of mass at a time? Use your imagination.

I’m just joking here. I know that if I had such powers I’d use them for world needs. But secretly, as I know scientists would be on me if I let anyone know. Then corporations would be on me. Damn, that’s be bad. Sure, eventually I’d donate myself to science…after I’ve saved four billion starving men and women.

 

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